Whether it’s your old pal from high school’s second wedding or your new pal from accounts payable’s Christmas party or even (Heaven forbid) your great aunt Melba’s funeral – it helps to know how to dress for the occasion. And unless you’re Timothée Chalamet, for men, the choice ultimately comes down to a tuxedo or a suit. So, what exactly is the difference?
The biggest difference between a tuxedo and a suit is the presence of satin. Tuxedos have satin details such as satin-faced lapels, satin buttons and/or a satin side-stripe down the pant leg. Suits typically do not have any of these features.They are both suits, but they will, and should, look quite different because the two aren’t meant to be worn to the same types of events and venues.
Of course, a “black-tie” affair should always be attended in a tuxedo. If the invitation doesn’t specify black tie, then it’s presumed to be black tie optional, and a suit will work just fine.
So, suit up or black-tie – you make the call. Either way, let’s take a look at some of your most conventional options.
The Tuxedo
Sometimes it’s the best choice. If this is the last time, or perhaps the first time, you are planning to wear this type of get-up, it makes sense. If we don’t have to, we don’t want to invest, I get it. However, I will say that if you’re the ambitious type and five of your closest friends you’re having dinner with are political figures, entertainers and/or c-level executives, then you need to consider owning at least one tuxedo.
When it comes to choosing a tux, how do you know if you’ve made the right decision? I always lean on the side of, “It’s better for me to be overdressed, than underdressed.” I do have to say, I’m guilty of sporting the tux to an event that wasn’t actually listed as black tie. Sometimes, to be the best dressed man in the room, you have to step it up. I prefer to be the one wearing what will be remembered over what is required. On one hand, the best advice is to always over dress. On the other hand, never be the most underdressed. Either way, I would never show up to a black tie event dressed in anything other than a gorgeous tuxedo – with the special tuxedo shirt and the black onyx button links – the whole nine. Not even my best suit can replace a classic tuxedo for a black-tie event.
I do own tuxedos and actually enjoy wearing them. Granted, I only own two or three, whereas when it comes to non-tuxedo suits, I have more than I’m willing to admit. (I did donate a few recently.) But, that’s where a solid suit or tux becomes a great investment: You’ll wear this for the rest of your life. You might even be buried in your finest, which, if we want to adhere to always dressing our best, is something to consider. Don’t wait on a tuxedo sale. The same tuxedos that are required for a black tie can also be donned elsewhere – or maybe you’re simply a baller and wear your tux to all events.
Regardless, once you’ve committed to wearing the tux, it’s important to know the proper way to wear it. I do not wear a cuff in my pant if it’s a straight leg and the hem has no break. Ultimately, you can decide on the pant length and styling as it fits your current comfort level and lifestyle, of course.
If, like me, you’re going with no cuff and no break in your slacks, then you must consider choice in socks and of course, the shoes. The pants inseam length will be a call you need to make with your buddies or a girlfriend: This comes and goes with fashion trends. Remember, not too long ago, MJ wore “high waters” and one shiny glove. The other MJ wore high-tops, which became Jordans, with his suits and tuxedos. Many men are still going short on the inseam. Either way, choose your level of comfort, and own it.
So, if we’re talking tuxedo, and we are doing traditional black and white, then it has to be paired with a black shoe with a great shine: Chukka boots, Derby, monk straps, Oxfords, even a pair of Air Jordans, if you’re of the sporty persuasion. That’s not really my space jam, but I know it looks good for some –I just can’t pull it off.
If you’re donning a black slack paired with wingtips and no break in your slacks, a great pair of socks is important. Think bold colors, stripes, prints, or if you aren’t planning on upping your sock game and even losing the socks altogether, you better have an attractive set of ankles under there.
Alternatively, If you own a great pair of black slacks (and I don’t mean khakis), you could get away with wearing those with a tuxedo jacket. Remember, the tuxedo pant has a strip of satin material running down the outside of both legs. Now, the regular slacks can work if you’re in a dimly-lit room for the evening, but if you’re outside, sun shining and you’re taking pictures, you’ll really want a tuxedo pant and jacket to match. Overall, stick with the classics: A one-button jacket with a nice satin lapel to match the stripe down the pant legs, and a black bow tie. (If you don’t know how to tie it, then YouTube can help you learn.)
The Suit
Tux or suit, I recommend getting fitted by a professional. This will ensure the garment is designed to fit you perfectly, and can even grow with you. Tailored suits can be let out or taken in as weight fluctuates. I have been a competitive bodybuilding champion with off-season weights over 200 pounds to weights that were closer to 170, so during competition season, there’s a big difference between suit sizes. I sometimes need my jackets adjusted for room or my slacks to have more room in the waist.
Having your suit designed to fit your size is important, and that’s where the magic happens. Suit jackets are available in one, two and three-button designs, with single or dual jacket vents in the back. Spending time in front of a mirror with two and three-button jackets may be required to decide what you prefer. I can help with the basics, but ultimately, you must own whatever you choose. Once you’ve committed to a style and a great suit, professionally tailored and pressed, it will make you feel like you can accomplish anything.
From my high school weight of around 130 to deciding I wanted muscles and adding 70 pounds to my frame, it’s taken time to find out what fits and what doesn’t in the suit department. I started early in my 20s and began shopping with a local menswear store and, man, did I really enjoy the service and support they provided.
In the beginning, when I first realized I needed better quality clothes, I would invest a few hundred for a tie, a few hundred for a shirt and a few thousand for a great handmade suit – and it made me feel incredibly stylish. Yes, these were investments, and you may want to discuss any potential for clothing deductions with your tax preparer for anything that can be considered a write-off.
Even when it comes to a beautiful, custom-designed Italian fabric suit or shirt from designers like Ermenegildo Zegna, Canali, Brioni, Armani – if it isn’t your size, the suit will not look exactly right on your frame. We know the saying “fits like a glove” and even an inexpensive suit that is a good fit and has been professionally pressed will look far better than a high-end designer suit in the wrong size.
Don’t be sloppy. And remember to have your suits measured and fitted with shoes that will be worn with the suit and a shirt that will accompany it. All these pieces work synergistically to give you that dapper gentleman look.
And The Rest
Now, once all of the major details are ironed out, you must consider: Are you a belt or suspenders guy? If you’ve never tried suspenders, it may be time, as this can add a bit of sophistication and style. Consider starting with a simple pair of black suspenders. Check your waist band for the buttons for suspenders. If not equipped, you will need the fasteners that pinch your waist band. Don’t worry: Only two types of fasteners. Either button holes and your slacks have suspender buttons built inside the waistline, or if there aren’t buttons then you’ll just use the pinch fasteners that come with the suspenders.
A cummerbund is a broad, waist sash, usually pleated, and often worn with a single-breasted dinner jacket or tuxedo. The cummerbund was adopted by British military officers in colonial India as an alternative to the waistcoat, and later spread to civilian use.
Now let’s talk about the pocket square, or you may refer to it (like my Papaw) as a handkerchief. These small pieces of material aren’t actually functional in the sense of the black-and-white films, where the gentleman pulls his handkerchief from his pocket to hand to the damsel to wipe her eye. Today’s dapper gents can use a bold silk pocket square to make the whole ensemble really pop.
One popular theory often espoused is that King Richard II of England was the first person to wear a handkerchief as a fashion accessory while on the throne, between 1377 to 1399. You can play with the pocket square in many different ways – solids or stripes, patterns, prints, polka dots. The fabric can be silk, cotton, even linen. Either way, it’s best to choose a pocket square that is similar to the colors of your tie (or your shirt if you’re going without a tie) but never use an identical pocket square to tie pattern. They should not match.
A bold, multi-color pattern will add flair to your suits and ties, so you really should invest in a few very nice silk pocket squares, and thank me later when you get tons of compliments.
Overall, the key takeaway is: get fitted. A professional seamstress or tailor can help you know your sizes for shirts, slacks, jackets and more. Remember, a great tuxedo can be worn over and over, so choose a good quality material from a respected brand. And while it’s always a sure bet to stick with traditional white and black for jacket and slacks, there are certainly some wild colors if you want to venture outside of your comfort zone. But unless you host your own game show, in my opinion, traditional B&W is best. Don’t forget to find a reliable dry cleaner service as well, as the pressing of the suit is crucial and can make all the difference.
Tux or suit – how good you will look is all about size, color and the fit – and hopefully with these tips, you can find the style that works for you and own it with confidence.
